Self Less

As I write this, in the midst of a terrible pandemic, I am buoyed by one thing . . . and that's the rise of stories of selflessness and sacrifice around the globe.

Selflessness has been on my mind a lot lately. It is, after all, the heart of caregiving, something I know quite a bit about. When my father was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease, I did something drastic. I gave up the highest level of my career ambition in order to spend more time on family responsibilities. Maybe you think you'd do the same . . . but for me, for reasons I fully acknowledge, the decision was difficult to make.

Back then, I'd worked so hard to achieve something that no other Asian man in America had achieved: I had my own cable television show. I got to talk to news makers about the world's most pressing issues. I lived on the Upper West Side and walked alongside other powerful, busy people to take my spot at my desk at MSNBC, located at 30 Rock.

After a long, uphill journey, I'd made it. And my life was a dream.

But once my dad got sick, I didn't feel right about being so far away from him during this last stage of his life. He had given so much to me, all my life. And I knew my absence would make my father's deterioration even more taxing on my mother. After wrangling with my decision, I decided to be there for my family.

The day I walked into the office and told my boss, "I need to be on television less," changed my life forever. But it also led to a lifetime's worth of lessons in caring for my father, and giving selflessly in this way has changed my life and perspective on the world. It has made me want to do MORE good in the world, and to preach the benefits of selflessness.

There's a reason that Selflessness is at the heart of service, and--no coincidence--the foundation for all religions. Selflessness requires truly caring for other people--really listening, giving of your time and your skills in expectation of no reward . . . and yet, incredibly, it often leads to abundant reward all the same. Just not in the ways you might expect.

What I'm talking about is something bigger, something I worried that most Americans--especially in the days before this pandemic--seemed to have lost. But as people are discovering now, being selfless, and caring for those around and in your community, creates unexpected and life-enhancing spiritual benefits. No matter one's faith or religiosity, you simply cannot prepare for the heart and brain smashing epiphanies of putting aside oneself for others. Words are inadequate: "Woohoo" and "wow" understate the case entirely.

All said, I'm seven years into this experiment in intentional selflessness, which is pretty counter-cultural in the era of "self care." My experience has been transformative, painful, and joyful--all at once. In this book, I want to invite others to come along on what's become one of the most important journeys of my life. I'm not Jesus, Mother Teresa, or any other sort of spiritual giant. I'm just a guy who was put in a situation that required more of me than I wanted to give. And then, I decided to go ahead and give anyway. This complete shift led to greater fulfillment in my life.

I think we can all agree, it's never been more urgent in these times of social and cultural crises to "pour ourselves out as wine" for one another. This book shows exactly how to do that.

I want my readers to read the title, Self Less, as a command and call to action. Think of your SELF, LESS. Get outside the bubble of ego and ambition and back in touch with humanity. It is self improvement for the soul. It's also broad: I want to talk about selflessness from the vantage of science, religion, and of course, from my own life and family. And I want to give my readers tools to enact radical selflessness in their own lives, for themselves, for the pleasure o