No Redneck Left Behind

They say your school years are your best years. That's a lie. There are plenty of good days ahead of you, unless you took so long to graduate that people thought you were in the seventeenth grade.

Now it's time to take what you've learned in classes such as math, biology, and introductory drywall hanging and make a success of your life. Okay, maybe you can at least stay off of COPS or Judge Judy.

You might be a redneck if . . .

• Your résumé includes your high scores on video games.
• You think the ability to hold a job is overrated.
• You've asked a hairstylist for a "business at the front, party at the back" cut.
• You list "beginner's luck" as a skill on a job application.
• Your savings account is in the ashtray of your truck.